{"id":1942,"date":"2005-01-02T17:58:42","date_gmt":"2005-01-02T20:58:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/bb\/viewtopic.php?p=1006"},"modified":"2010-05-08T21:12:37","modified_gmt":"2010-05-09T00:12:37","slug":"new-heavy-element-discovered","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/blog\/2005\/01\/02\/new-heavy-element-discovered\/","title":{"rendered":"New heavy element discovered&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;and I <em>don&#8217;t<\/em> mean <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sciam.com\/article.cfm?chanID=sa003&amp;articleID=00082424-16F2-1020-96F283414B7F0000\">this one<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>From Ole Eichhorn&#8217;s <a href=\"http:\/\/w-uh.com\/posts\/041226a-governmentium.html\">Critical Section<\/a> comes this gem:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest NEW chemical element yet known to science.\u00a0 The new element has been tentatively named <strong>Governmentium<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.\u00a0 These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.\u00a0 Since Governmentium does not have electrons, it is therefore inert.\u00a0 However, it normally can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.\u00a0 Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.\u00a0 In fact, Governmentium&#8217;s mass will actually increase over time, since any reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.\u00a0 This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.\u00a0 This hypothetical quantity is referred to as &#8220;critical morass&#8221;.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;and I don&#8217;t mean this one. From Ole Eichhorn&#8217;s Critical Section comes this gem: A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest NEW chemical element yet known to science.\u00a0 The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[37],"class_list":["post-1942","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sci","tag-humor"],"featured_image_src":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"Rainer Brockerhoff","author_link":"https:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/blog\/author\/rbrockerhoff\/"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1q3Zc-vk","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1942","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1942"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1942\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1942"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1942"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brockerhoff.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1942"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}